Released last week on DVD was Lordi’s monster movie titled: Dark Floors. If your a fan of Lordi, you will want to see this movie. If your not a fan of Lordi and you like your daily dose of horror then, you might be complaining. Being a fan of Lordi the one thing I wanted most of all out of this flick was for it to switch over into a rock opera. Shit, that would have ruled my life! Didn’t happen.

The movie is about a little girl’s suspicious illness which turns out to be a gift in relation to the calling beasts (Lordi). The cast which starts dying one by one, descents into the levels of a hospital to try and find their way out. Encountering each member of the band individually gives Dark Floors a 13 Ghosts vibe and certainly makes you want more from each encounter. I won’t give away the ending (which was weak given the build up) but I will say this film is worth seeing for the time tricks used in the story telling. Dark Floors earned big points for that.

All throughout the film, a little girl constantly cries for a red crayon and it is annoying. In the end, the crayon isn’t even that important because the message it carries is already shown through a different perspective. You’ll have to see it to get what I mean. In the end, Dark Floors was a good time. It doesn’t go over the top but it is a cool short story. It screams to be an amazing music video. This is where I feel things really fell apart. To have a film that showcases a band and not fully utilize them was my gripe. I guess I’ll keep holding on for that to happen. I give Dark Floors a B-.

I haven’t seen Dance of the Dead or The Substitute yet but so far this has been the brightest gem for me out of the Ghost House series. Certainly better than Last House in the Woods. What a masturbatory piece of crap that was.